Desi parents and dating

There are different levels of strictness/conservative-ness with Bangladeshi parents these days; especially in the realm of dating. Dating in the Bengali community used to work like this- your parents have no concept of your love life until you are ready to tie the knot with someone, if you can muster up the courage to tell them. But nowadays, parents are becoming more open- minded, though there are still very few parents that will let their children (specially daughters) experiment too much with dating. It’s supposed to be a one-time shot; you meet, you go out, you check each other’s credentials; you get married.

So what happens when you bring your boyfriend home and both your families are very happy with the alliance but you guys end up breaking up before you even get engaged? One of my friends’ mom just could not handle it-she was severly attached to her daughter’s boyfriend. He was everything her mother wanted-family background, religion, nationality, education, looks, mannerisms, etc. She asked her daughter why they broke up and when my friend told her he was stifling her, she just didn’t get it.

“Men want their wives to act and dress conservatively, you have to deal with that”, were the words of wisdom Aunty dispelled.

“We just don’t see eye to eye, mom”.

“You’re never going to find someone as good as him-NEVER!” can’t you just give it a year and see what happens?”

“A year?!?!”

My advice; if your conservative parents aren’t ready to handle the complexities of our dating world don’t introduce them to your boo until you have a rock on your finger (even then it’s worth thinking over!).


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