Down but definitely not out not

Optimism by Jon Slaby

Optimism by Jon Slaby

The freelance job didn’t extend my gig until next month; my last day is tomorrow. They hired a bunch of interns (for free, of course) so they can make do without me. To be honest, I’m quite relieved simply because this job was boring and drained me. It had no writing or editing involved, only working within the Content Management System and it was meant to be four-six weeks, which didn’t provide me much motivation to work hard.

I followed up with the magazine that I wrote the PCOS article for (it will be appearing in the July issue) and they sent back another small edit. I asked them what sorts of ideas they were looking for for future issues and the editor replied that they were open to anything, but

‘There are a lot of changes with the mag right now, so we aren’t using any freelancers more than once or twice for the time being, just to give us time to see who’s out there and keep the copy sounding fresh.’

I am assuming they didn’t like my writing, although they are publishing my article. To be honest, I couldn’t give it my all because this topic was too close to home–I am struggling with PCOS in a major way and just could not write the article the way I had envisioned it.

So now that one possible market is down and a day job is over, what next? I do have an interview on Tuesday for a copywriting/web writing position but I’m not holding my breath.

As you can tell, I’m feeling a little down, as I always do when one job ends. I’m twenty-five-years old and I’m already tired. All my life, all I wanted to was become a writer and/or editor, and this is what I still want to do but do I want other options for a day job? I can see myself working in marketing, advertising and especially public relations but how feasible is it to get those jobs these days? I know the economy is bad and it’s not particularly my fault, but it’s hard to keep your chin up when your dream career seems to be dwindling away in front of you.

I’m the first-born child of immigrant parents. Parents who have worked blue-collared jobs their entire lives. They’ve managed to secure property, a bit of pension money–but not much else. They worked so hard to put my sister and I through college, is it really that wrong for them to expect us to have successful and baller-status careers? I know they really try to understand my work as a writer and I am still young and in the early stages of my career, but when they see my friends buying cars and houses (yes, in NYC!), how do they deal with the disappointment? I still live at home, under their roof, rent-free, having only my own bills to pay. I would like to be able to buy them nice things once and in a while, send them off to mini-vacations or just give them some money to splurge on anything they want (which they most likely will not do but save it for our futures instead) before I have my own children to worry about. I feel old but am still living the life of a child.

There, I vented. But, as always, I like to keep my to-do list ready. I’m not one to get stuck on the past, I always keep moving.

So, what are my plans?

Improve my writing. Blog, work on a novel idea, personal essays–whatever it is. I feel as though I talk more about writing than writing itself. Somewhere along the way, my writing has turned less passionate.

Find my voice. During my freshman year of college, an a**hole professor told me that my voice was very ‘Indian’, which pissed me off at the time because I thought he was just being racist. Now, I realize what he really meant is that my tone is ‘formal’. I don’t know where I developed this ‘formal yet cheeky’ voice because I am the product of good old New York City public school. But rather than shy away from it, I want to embrace and enhance my writing style.

Develop my blogs. I have some great blog ideas and whether or not blogging is just a fad, it could be a way to improve my writing, work on the topics I’m interested in and develop a niche for myself. Stay tuned!

Pitch, pitch, pitch. So what, that ‘maybe’, one editor didn’t like my writing? I already know I couldn’t give it my all. I have years and years (hopefully) of writing ahead of me and will only get better with time.

Now that that’s all said and done, my summer has officially started! I have extensive (and cheap) travel plans starting May, so I better get to work on it! But, that’s for another post.

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2 thoughts on “Down but definitely not out not

  1. I’m also a daughter of immigrant parents so I can completely relate to where you’re coming from. But you also have to give yourself credit for not selling out so easily and chasing after your dream. It may be a long road, but look at all the hard work you’re putting into your looming success. It WILL pay off, but it will take some patience.

    Best of luck :).

  2. Hey Girl.. cheer up! everything happens for good and for a reason.

    Just hang on in your dreams. Sometimes the price of our dreams comes costly. Patience.. patience.. your effort will be paid off soon..

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